He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
