you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
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