It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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