today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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