apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
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I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
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In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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