i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize