Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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