I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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