It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
