i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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