his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
it was like having sex with a tree stump
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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