you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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