just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
