My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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