I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
