Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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