She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
