I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
