Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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