Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize