a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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