i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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