Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
