My brain says no but my pants say off.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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