chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
