Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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