Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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