that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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