he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize