There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
