i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
