Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Found your dick twin last night
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I party with great urgency now.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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