distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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