whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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