she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Your cock deserves a montage
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
