when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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