So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
