remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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