Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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