vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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