Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
false alarm. still invincible.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I need to calm my uterus...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Randomize
