I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
