New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.