The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
