I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize