FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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