she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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