You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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