I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Randomize
