Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
