i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
