when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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