After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
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She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
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he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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