Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
