just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
