is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
