I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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