Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
