there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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