Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
