After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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