If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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