my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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