that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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