You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
