Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
